Monday, November 3, 2008

Relationships Within the Body, Part Two: Leftovers

In Sunday School yesterday morning, we looked at how to deal with friends that are struggling with sin, knowing when to confront them, what sins to confront, and how to do it. While I always enjoy the prep. and actually getting up in front of people to teach, there are some lessons that I enjoy giving more than others. This was one of those lessons. I just felt like I was learning a ton of new stuff and looking at accountability and confrontation from a totally different angle than I ever had before. As I said in the into. yesterday morning, rules and black-and-white standards of which sins to confront and how to do it are great, but they rarely work outside of a theological, academic context. When we're in community with others who are struggling with sin, it's rarely, nice, neat, and black-and-white.

I think the example of Great Pyrenees is probably the most helpful, so I'm posting that as the main leftover from the lesson:

"As most of you know, my roommate has a dog named Radley, who's part Great Pyrenees. I've been reading about Great Pyrenees, trying understand the breed better, and there's one thing very interesting about them, that I think applies to what we've been talking about this morning. Great Pyrenees are guard dogs, mostly used to guard animals in the mountains and hills. The interesting thing about them, though, is that as guard dogs they can appear to be very laid back, not really paying attention to what's going on. Looks can be deceiving though, because even though they seem like they're just laying around, they are very aware of their surroundings and always looking out for potential danger. The minute they see or sense something, they don't bark--being that the herds they're protecting can at times be very close to cliffs, barking and scaring them can be dangerous--instead they get in between what they're guarding and the perceived danger, and they nudge what they're protecting away from the danger. Isn't that such a great picture of what Christian community should look like?! What a wonderful, merciful God to give us such a great example in his creation of what we should be doing for one another!

Accountability doesn't mean we're always looking for the worst in people's lives. Much like the Great Pyrenees, we're just supposed to be around those that we're called into community with, not pacing, nervous, looking for sin, but always aware, no matter what we're doing, of potential dangers. And when we see them, the idea is not to bark and get all bothered, but to get in between the person and the perceived danger and nudge them away from it, back to safety."

1 comment:

Becca said...

Hey... there was one thing that our group last week talked about after this lesson that was huge in those confrontational moments. Prayer...which you did touch on too. But prayer moreso in the person's heart and the timing to speak. God knows the other person's heart and when they need to be confronted, and He can be going before us preparing them, even allowing them to bring up the issue we more than likely dread confronting them about.

One time I had to confront someone about something, but that person would always overreact or flip things around to be the fault of me or others or completely meltdown. I felt like I was always walking on egg shells, and never knew how she'd react to even the simplest thing (even nonconfrontational). So when the need arose for me to confront her, my flesh wanted out, but I knew it was something I couldn't ignore. I began to pray that God would (A) prepare her heart since He knows it more than anyone and (B) keep me sensitive for the opportunity and (C) would perform a miracle by having her bring up the subject, opening the door for me to humbly share. I prayed all of the above and was baffled when He answered C (in which answered A-she was prepared, and B-I couldn't ignore He was handing me this opportunity on a silver platter). The Spirit led me and it was one of the best conversations we ever had, and was so edifying to our relationship, and both of our relationships with the Lord. (Why are we so shocked when He does answer our specific prayers so obviously?....well, at least I am).

He did this twice in my friendship with her. Since this, I have never looked at confrontation the same, and though I know it won't look like that in each case, it is such a great reminder for me....They are His, He knows their heart, He knows when they is truly open ready to hear, and He can even arrange it where they bring up the subject!

So anyways...those are some of my side thoughts/experiences to that lesson, just thought I'd share!