Last night I was sitting around a chimenea, with a couple buddies, talking, when I noticed this bug that kept flying to the chimea, obviously attracted to the light of the fire. As soon as he hit or landed on the outside of the chimenea, though, the heat would get him, and he would quickly fly away. In a few minutes, though, he'd be back, sometimes in the same general area he flew to before, sometimes he'd try a different spot. But each time the same thing happened, he'd get burned and fly away.
After I watched him do this several times, it hit me how much like that dumb bug I am when it comes to sins that I keep going back to over and over again (I'm not believing the gospel enough yet to list those here). I see the flame, and "Oooo, it's so pretty." I attempt to fly to it, and as soon as I land, I get burned, and fly away. But, sooner or later, I'll see the flame again, and head right back for it with as much enthusiasm as the previous time, totally forgetting that my feet are still smoking from the previous burn. Just like that bug, over and over again, the pattern continues.
Here's the thing: I'm a Christian who's attracted to sin, especially those sins that have been with me a long time and are on my "Favs List" (sorry T-Mobile.) Now, I'm hoping and praying that as the gospel melts and reshapes my life, I'm becoming less and less attracted to them over time, but it's definitely not been an instantaneous thing in my life, and there are more times than I'd like when I fly back them with all my might, just like that dumb bug flew to the flame over and over again. I know I'll get burned, but the flame is just so captivating.