The E-vite

I have long understood and lived with the mindset that the Christian life, at least my Christian life, is like living on a clock pendulum, constantly swinging from one side to the other, rarely spending much if any time in the middle. I'm in one of those times right now, specifically as it relates to God's sovereignty and our joy. As I've grown in my understanding and belief in the absolute sovereignty of God, one of the things I've had to deal with is the fact that bad things happen to Christians living in a fallen world, and that this has nothing to do with a lack of faith, or unconfessed sin, it's just the reality of life, even to the point of accepting (which I'm very ready to do) that God ordains suffering and trials and "bad" things in my life for days, weeks, and even seasons to accomplish his will. As I've become more comfortable with this doctrine, which I really do believe is Biblical, two things have happened: I've begun to see trials and suffering as a natural, normal thing, and expect that they will come, and it's become harder for me to rejoice in the good things, the relief, that are also a part of the normal Christian life. The first one is healthy and right, the second one is not.

As far as the issue of trials and suffering being normal and being ordained by God, I'm there. I've long since given up on the hopelessness that comes from seeing suffering and trials as somehow my fault for not having enough faith or not confessing my sin fast enough. I played that game for a long time, and trust me, you don't want to go there. Not only is it unbiblical, it's also exhausting, defeating, and puts a lot of the burden for living this life on me, a very scary proposition.

On the other hand, I'm more and more troubled by how my mind has moved--and I see this in others around me who are understanding these truths for the first time as well--from an acceptance of a suffering and trials to a "grit-your-teeth-and-bear-it" mentality that too often views the Christian life as something to suck it up and get through, while waiting on the next Providential shoe to drop. (In many ways this is no different than those Christians who view this world as utterly and completely evil, without hope, and who wait for Christ to come back and snatch them out of the mess.) And, when there are those moments of blessing and joy, I find myself enjoying them reservedly, not because I don't think God wants me too, but because I don't want to take my eye off the trail, in case I get distracted and step on a landmine.

Here's the thing: this has been the recipe for a resistance to joy in my life, and that scares me. I worry about what it says about me, my view of God, and my misunderstanding of Scriptures. Surely there's got be a way in which I can live the Christian life, not as some naive Peter Pan, thinking life is all about being happy, and then when trials and sufferings come my way, being totally devastated because I think it's my fault somehow, and that I need to work harder to get God's blessing about, and yet at the same time, not be so consumed in accepting the trials and sufferings of life, that I can't "rejoice in the Lord always" (Philippians 4:4).

The world needs to know that Christians aren't perfect, that we struggle with things, and we don't expect the Gospel to "fix" us and make everything fine and dandy, but they also need to see us having joy in the midst of the pain, otherwise, why would they need to accept it? After all, they've already got the pain.

I think the answer lies in the Old Testament. In God's instruction of Israel, while they were in the desert. Sand for miles around. No food. No water. All apart of his plan in leading them out of bondage and into the Promised Land. He told them to pray, he told them to sacrifice, he told them to obey, but he also told them to party. There's something here, and I need to explore it more.