As I've been sharing with people about my dreams, I constantly find myself at a loss for words when it comes to talking about fear. I talk about being afraid, or the fact that I'm scared, or how I am fearful, but, here's the thing: none of those words, taken at their base definition, really get at how I feel when I get into bed at night, or when I have a nightmare, or when I wake up from a bad dream.
I told someone today that I feel like I need to come up with a whole new vocabulary for talking about fear, because the English words we have just don't do it. They just aren't powerful enough. Maybe because our language is just that limited. Maybe because I've used those words to describe feelings in the past that didn't even come close to matching what I'm experiencing now and so I've cheapened them in a way. Whatever the case, I feel like I'm developing a whole new mini-dictionary of definitions for what it means to be afraid. And, the kicker is, I'm scared I'll need it!
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